A very chocolatey Easter - Double chocolate tart with double nuts


Easter vaycay is in full mode around here. Kid's at home, not much to do but laze about, no need to hurry in the morning, no timetables enslaving us, but also no work done at all. Except for the hard work of trying to balance writing, blogging, and keeping a kid entertained. So far we've hit a Medieval Fair and cooked a few treats. Yesterday we took advantage of the glorious weather to take strolls by the sea, walks at the beach, playtimes at the park. It has left us feeling knackered, alright, especially the boy, which turns out to be a good thing, in the end, as he is not complaining of boredom the whole time. All in all, it was a really great day.


Today we're packing up as we intend to leave for a mini break tomorrow morning. I have so much to get done before we leave, I'm wondering how am I gonna get it all ready and set. Taking a few minutes to blog comes as some sort of respite, a breather in what is to be a full day. As it should be, as it has always been. Blogging for me used to be such a selfish little act, a medium to share my attempts at food styling and food photography, and a way to share recipes we enjoy with the rest of the world. But it was also a way of unwinding, a relaxation of sorts, me time, really. How strange is it that blogging was "me time" at some pint in my life. But it was, it was something I was doing for me, for my own benefit. To help me grow, to help out of my shell, to help me cross other's paths and connect with life outside my shell. It used to be good.


It also used to be about connecting with others, be it like minded or quite different from me individuals, it used to be about encouraging others and be encouraged by them, about following their work and exchanging thoughts on it, having your work followed and with thoughts exchanged on it. I had this wild idea blogging was something great, something that could bring great people and great moments into my life, alas! it hasn't been like that. As in much the rest of my life, I find myself cheering others' efforts, applauding their achievements, critiquing their work and pulling them up, blowing their sails so they reach for their full potential. I invest, and am drained. I end up emotionally depleted, with nothing left for my own self, and no one to do so much as clap at my efforts.


I find that the problem must be in me, has to be in me, so I feel that I need to start looking at the act of blogging in a completely different way. In a more personal, individualistic way. In an even more selfish way. I'm done with trying to connect with others, I'm done with applauding others great work and trying to encourage others on their dreams and goals, and never getting anything in return. I'm my only fan, my only encouraging voice. So I'm done with trying to find a tribe where I can fit, where I feel welcome, in the blogging world. I'm blogging as if there's no one else in the world, now.
Because in the end, there's a lot of people in the world, alright, and they will take what is given them, feeding off from what is there for free, like the proverbial psychic vampire of Anton LaVey's description. So it ends up being as if there's no one else in the world, really. I can't afford to always be giving and never receiving, it's depleting me and making me sick. But it's by my own fault that I end up feeling this way, as I expect to be treated as I treat others. I need to start trating others as they treat me, and that's in every aspect of my life.


I have always used this blog as some sort of diary, where I vent the stuff that ails me, aggravates me, annoys me. But also where I praise all the stuff I love, the things that have inspired me, the dreams and goals and hopes I have.  It has always been a very personal way of blogging, mine own, and it will continue to be like that. I realize this is probably what keeps people away from my blog, no one cares and frankly, most people who read through my posts tend to misinterpret everything I say. No one except myself really understands what I'm trying to do, here, so this will be my own personal journal. With food photos and recipes, yeah, why the hell not? It's not like I will be achieving anythig life changing with this, I'm just a spec in the grand scheme of the world, and frankly, there sre so much more important things going around. Let this be my little inner sanctum, yes, my haven of peace and quiet, my pursuit of beauty and a lifestyle I work hard to have. Let this be my safe place, my own, and not another source of stress and exhaustion. I have so many already.


And yeah, I'm gonna write about my books here, I'm gonna write about the hardness of trying to be a novelist, I'm gonna write about my disapointments with the world and people in general. Tough if it looses me even more page views. I realised I need to not care about that. I realised I need to not give to others so much of myself, when I don't get anything back. If no one reads this blog, or comments on this blog, from this moment on is unimportant, the goal of this medium is altogether different from what it started out as. No longer am I looking for sharing and caring and connecting with others. I'm doing this only for me. I have always kept myself apart from the rest of the world, I have always shut myself out, why should I want to change that? Why should I want to touch others, their thoughts or their art, their lives and their work? Simon and Garfunkel's "I am a rock" has always been my anthemn, why change it? Some people are not meant to have companionship, nor a tribe they belong to, nor a place in the world at large. Some people are meant to be alone, their own tribe, and there's nothing wrong with that.


Because I used to love blogging, and then  I kind of started not loving it as much. Because, I mean, it's only natural for one who showcases one's work online, for everyone to see, to wish to get some sort of feedback from others, a kind word or a smart critique. Feedback of any kind, you know? Encouragement for what one does, what one shares. But since there's none, I began to feel like I'm invisible, like I don't really exist at all, and I kind of started resenting blogging. But I love styling food so much, I love photographing it and editing it so much, I don't want to stop. I just want to feel elated with the act of posting again. So now I post for myself alone. And I hope I can get back to loving this blogging thing once more. I have always been quite good at keeping myself motivated into doing what gives me pleasure, brings me joy. Of course we all crave some kind of assessment from our peers, from others, it's only natural, it's human. Still, if that reaction isn't forthcoming, then we can do without it, can't we? We can at least train our brains into not feeling the need for it. We can train our brains into not needing certain things, can't we? I trained mine into not needing chocolate, although I'm still not sure of how successful I have been...


As for this chocolate tart, I mean, you gotta be crazy to not want a bite. It's like the perfect Easter treat, at least in my eyes. It's got chocolate, loads of it, it's got nuts, it's got cookies... yeah, it is a bit of a bomb, but it's just about right to bring on to the table on your Easter Sunday lunch and share with a large family gathering. Serve it over fragrant coffee and add a spoonful of crème fraiche icecream to your slice and you're bound to be in a sort of heaven much of your own. I am already craving this tart again, it's that decadent, that rich, that smooth. Try it for yourself, if you don't believe me! And I'm gonna turn this blog into something like this tart: a sort of heaven of my own, meant for me alone. I'm the only one who's gotta love it, in the end.


Here's how you can go about it:

  • 300 gr digestive biscuits
  • 160 gr insalted butter
  • 1/2 cup ground walnuts and hazelnuts
  • 200 ml cream
  • 200 gr dark chocolate
  • 200 gr milk chocolate
  • 1/2 cup chopped walnuts and hazelnuts
On a grinder, grind the biscuits to a fine sand like consistency. Add 120 gr of room temperature butter and the mixed nuts and blitz, until the biscuits are moits and completely ground. Transfer to a round pie dish and working with your fingertips spread the mix down the base and sides of the dish. Place it in the fridge for at least fifteen minutes. On a saucepan, bring the milk and the 40 gr of butter to the stove and allow to simmer. Take the pan from the heat and add both chocolates to it, piece by piece. With a wooden spoon, stir and blend completely, until you are left with a smooth, silky cream. Allow to cool for a few minutes and pour over the biscuit base. Place it inside the fridge once more until the chocolate has set. Before serving, scatter the chopped nuts over the top of the pie. A side of clotted cream will go wonderful here, and vanilla icecream too. I served it with crème fraice icecream, red berries and a red berry coulis. Hope you enjoy!



Comments

  1. Tu pelo menos já decidiste para onde vais com teu blogue...estás melhor do que eu :) Boas férias!! E beijinhos, vá vá hoje levas beijinhos ;)

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    1. Epah, agora tenho medo, tu a mandares beijinhos, acho que vai cair o tecto em cima de mim ahahahahah!!! Obrigada!!

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  2. Eu sou naturalmente parcial, porque me identifico bastante contigo, e adoro ter tempo para vir cá ler com calma a forma delicada como descreves tudo, inclusive coisas que parecem banais, mas que são tão importantes... Adoro a forma como falas do teu lar, a realização que transpareces...invejo (de uma forma boa) as massagens nos pés, os jantares em família...porque é assim que idealizo a minha vida... Aprecio também a acidez das tuas opiniões, o fora do convencional, mesmo que nem sempre concorde... Faz-me pensar! E sabes, o que descreves é tão distante de toda a fantochada mastigada e processada que povoa os blogs, o instagram e etc hoje em dia, que é natural que não encontres tribo. Pessoas que são como percepciono que sejas (do pouquinho que vou conhecendo por te ler), andam ocupadas a VIVER, ao invés de comentar "ai, mas que bolsa gira!" ou "uh, AMEI esse penteado" em 500 contas diferentes por dia... Por isso eu cá acho que sim, sê egoísta, escreve e fotografa para este blog porque o aprecias...mesmo que mais ninguém (ou quase) o faça!
    Haveria tanto mais para dizer, mas no fundo, tudo isto me faz lembrar algo que o meu professor de Português do 9º ano dizia bastante, quando se queixava de nós, alunos:

    "...é dar pérolas a porcos..."

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    1. Ai eu uso taaaaaaanto essa expressão, pah, das pérolas a porcos, e como sou altamente presunçosa, muitas vezes uso em relação a mim mesma - sendo que eu sou a pérola, claro. Obrigada, nem me apraz dizer mais nada relativamente ao que aqui dizes, acho que se calhar me vês de uma forma que nem eu me vejo, e isso é muito bom lol!!

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  3. Fico sempre tão aconchegada quando venho ao teu blog. Fotografias lindas, aquecem a alma e o coração, impossível explicar.

    Beijinho grande*

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    1. Ah, acho que és a única pessoa que me diz isso acerca das fotos!!! Obrigada <3!!!

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  4. maybe i'm interpreting wrong, but i think it's fine, even good, to be selfish about it if that's what keeps you feeling good. i think it's important to derive your worth from yourself instead of seeking outside validation, no matter if people are applauding, ignoring, bashing, whatever-ing you, or you'll always be subject to the fickle internet. this tart sounds incredible, with the hazelnuts and creme fraiche ice cream and berry coulis, but you didn't need me to tell you that (;

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    1. This tart was really delicious, indeed!!

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